How Has Rogue Sriracha Hot Stout Gone Unnoticed This Long

Shopping at the Fruit Center tonight, I came across this beauty. Sriracha and beer, two things I hold so dear, coming together to bless taste buds throughout this great country of ours. There was only one left on the shelf and the smoke of a beer attendant informed me that they had been flying off the shelves all day. I had never seen or even heard of this before, but a quick Google search informed me  it has been around at least a couple of years. Very disappointed in myself for not knowing this. I am usually up to date on all things beer and sriracha so to find out about this 2 years after the fact is a huge hit to the ego. As for the beer itself, its pretty good. Smells like your average stout. Tastes like your average stout at first, and then a couple moments after the spice hits your lips for a very pleasant after taste. The spices stays in your mouth for a while too, so if you are like me and put sriracha on anything and everything, this stout should serve you well. Now if the could only find a way to incorporate cheese into it, I would be able to get all my nutritional needs in one bottle.

Jimmy Butler and Paul George Will Not Be Walking Through That Door.

I'd like to thank Rick Pitino for that headline.Anyways, three o'clock this afternoon came and went without the Celtics making any trades. I am ok with them not moving anybody. The team they have now has been  the second best team in the East, and have never really been fully healthy. I'm not expecting Avery Bradleys hopeful return this Friday to turn them into Cleveland, but his 18 points and 7 rebounds per game can only help. This team is not winning a title this year, or next even, without improving on their rebounding, an obvious deficiency. At some point, this glaring hole needs to be filled. Maybe Al Horford brings his game back down low and returns to being the almost 9 rebounds per game player the Celtics thought they signed. I like Horford and the Celtics are definitely a better team with him, but at some point he has to stop playing outside and become a presence on the glass. If the draft and free agency come and go and the Celtics are still relying on Amir Johnson as their big man, my attitude towards Danny Ainges approach may change.

MLB Wants to Quicken Pace of Games, Gets Rid of Intentional Walk Pitches, Keeps Infinite Pitching Changes.

Major League Baseball is apparently doing away with the need for four pitches during an intentional walk and allowing managers to give a sign to the ump that they are giving the batter the free base. This is being done in an attempt to make the games play faster, but how much time are they really saving? Baseball had just .38 intentional walks per game last season, so its not like the minute or two that an IBB takes was causing some games to go as long as 3.5-4 hours. If they really wanna speed up the games, they should limit the amount of pitching changes per inning. Nothing slows down a game more than a manager waddling out to the mound 4 times in 8 minutes to get the right match-ups.Whereas the IBB rule is just an attempt to make it look like MLB is doing something to speed up the games and keep their audiences engaged, limiting pitching changes could drastically speed the game up. The only proof I need to back me up is my eyes. I've seen enough managers plod their way out to the mound 5 times in an inning to know that one of those trips back and forth take a lot longer than 4 wasted pitches. Or, if the really wanted to speed up the game, they could enforce the rules they put in place a couple years ago in regards to time between pitches and leaving the batters box. That would help, too.

What the Fuck Smells in My Fridge?

I opened my fridge today and got nailed in the face with a horrible stench. It was like Shawn Michaels was waiting inside and when I opened the door, BAM! Shit sandwich superkick to the face. After looking at the contents of the fridge, I have narrowed down the potential culprits. I will list the odds for each food item and then smell each one, and figure out just what exactly is producing that foul smell.

Magic Johnson to Take Over the Lakers Front Office

Jeanie Buss brought the hammer down today, firing Mitch Kupchak as GM and relieving her brother, Jim, of his executive vice president role as well. Since hiring Magic Johnson a couple weeks ago as an adviser, this move by the Lakers Governor doesn't come as much of a surprise. Johnson will take as the new president of basketball operations. I'm sure Lakers fans are ecstatic over the move. And analyzing Johnsons tweets referencing basketball moves over the last few years, I can't say I blame them. Just last May, Magic tweeted out in back to back posts that the Lakers should go after Kevin Durant and Lebron James in free agency. Who would ever think that targeting the top two potential free agents would be a sound business strategy? If he suggests to Jeanie Buss that they should place a call to Steph Curry or Blake Griffin this summer, she should double his salary. Who can ever forget his tweet from March 2014 in which he says the only way the Heat or Spurs wouldn't win the Finals that season is if they didn't make it. That's some NBA moneyball type shit right there. The rest of the NBA should take notice, the Lakers are back!

George "The Animal" Steele Passes Away

The WWE has lost a legend today. George "The Animal" Steele has passed away at the age of 79. Though he played a baboon on tv, Steele was actually one of the smartest people in the business. He had a Masters degree and was a Detroit area high school wrestling coach when the WWE came calling in the 1960s. For two decades he was one of the biggest heels in the biz, before turning face and fighting Macho Man Randy Savage over the honor of Miss Elizabeth during the wrestling heydey of the 1980s. Known for his green tongue and a penchant for eating turnbuckles, Steele was one of the most beloved WWE superstars of all time and was inducted into the company's Hall of Fame in 1995. Rest in peace, Animal.

Robert DeNiro is an Anti Vaxxer and Plans to Give Away All his Rocky and Bullwinkle Money

I know Jenny McCarthy gets a lot of the "credit" for the leading the charge against vaccines, but the anti-vaxxers have been around since at least the 90's and besides, if you are listening to medical advice from a Playmate, you're an idiot. Don't get me wrong, between Jenny and Anna Nicole Smith 1994 was a very busy year for me, but I'm only looking for her help with my knuckle children, not my real ones. Where was I? Oh yeah, Robert DeNiro took part in a press conference yesterday with Bobby Kennedy, Jr in which they talked about how giving vaccines to children can cause autism. Despite the fact that there is no validity to these claims, Kennedy and DeNiro were there to announce a $100,000 reward for anyone who can "prove the safety" of vaccinations. My lucky day! Here you go, guys! You can make the check payable to cash.

In all honesty, if you believe that vaccines are bad, you are a fucking moron. The reason measles, mumps and rubella are pretty much non-existent now is because of the vaccines. I don't even know what the fuck rubella is, all I know is that I got a shot for it years ago and now don't have to worry about it. When you see cases of the goddamn measles popping up throughout the country, it is because the idiotic majority believe that they know better than the scientific community. There was an outbreak of the mumps in the NHL a couple years ago. The fucking mumps! Bottom line, refusing to vaccinate your children is abuse and it puts other children in harms way. Don't be an idiot.

Darrelle Revis Charged With a Bunch of Stuff

I don't know about you but I can't imagine what it would be like to be walking down the street, have some kid ask me if I am who I am, and then when I answer yes, he pulls out his phone and starts recording me. Not sure I would be a big fan of it. Then again, I am not one of the best cornerbacks of all time either so nobody is rushing down the street to take iPhone videos of me. And that's why the charges against Jets CB Darrelle Revis need to be taken with a grain of salt. I've already seen calls for him to be cut, but I think this is a time where we really have to let the legal process play out. Just looking at the police statement, nothing in it implies that Revis was the aggressor. It does say he snatched the phone out of the guys hand, but this was after he had been videotaped for however long. The dude is entitled to his life, let him live it. The list of charges are also pretty funny too. According to the statement released by police, he is being charged with "robbery, terroristic threats, conspiracy and aggravated assault." I know one of those are fake because the red squiggly line shows up under "terroristic."Not sure what the conspiracy or the robbery was, but I bet a couple of those get dropped or altered as the investigation trudges forward. Don't know what to make of any of this, but Revis's lawyer communicated with Mike Garafolo of NFL.com and basically said that a bunch of guys were walking down the street by Revis and a couple of them got a little too rowdy. Apparently Darrelle had to go to the hospital to have his injuries looked at. Obviously the truth lies somewhere in the middle, but until everything gets played out, everyone on their high horses should relax. Everyone has a right to privacy and should be allowed to protect it. Even if they did leave a Super Bowl champ for the Jets.

Big Baby is Upset at Doc Rivers and it Doesn't Sound Like Sour Grapes AT ALL.

To start off, I just wanna say I am not the biggest fan of Doc Rivers. Sure, he helped lead the Celtics to the '08 title and brought them to a Game 7 two years later. But seriously, how hard is it to get to the Finals two out of three years when you have the Truth, KG and Ray Ray playing near their peaks? I've always felt that Doc got a bit too much credit for those teams success and then fled to the Clippers at the first sight of a rebuild, new 5 year contract be damned. That being said, Big Baby's recent comments on Chris Broussards' podcast come off as nothing more than sour grapes to me. I've only read this post about it on Boston.com so there may be some context missing, but Baby doesn't hold back in his criticism of the man who coached him for the majority of his career. Lets take a look at what he had to say quote by quote.

The Doctor Who Mistakenly Told Kelly Clarkson She Had Cancer is Dead to Me.

Poor Kelly. Poor, poor, Kelly. My sweet Clarks. I wish you told me sooner. I remember watching the 2006 Grammys and thinking to myself, "Hmm, Kelly seems a bit off today. I wonder if she was mistakenly told she has cancer this morning." I wish I was wrong when you won for "Since You've Been Gone." Seriously though, the balls on this doctor. Having "You have cancer, enjoy the Grammys!" turn into "Oops, my bad, this OTHER person has cancer," is some fucked up shit. Kelly is up on stage worrying her tits off that she might have to literally lose her tits while some other woman is sipping Mai Tais while her lymph nodes are metastasizing. You disgust me, Dr. Itsnotatumor. Burn in hell.

Adam Silver for President

This story is a month old but if it happens, the NBA can have all my money. The last five minutes of an NBA game are the only five minutes people should watch. I love the Celtics but I know the game isn't going to get decided until the last half of the fourth quarter.  My math could be a little off, but I am pretty sure that over 90 percent of all NBA games are just a set of runs. Up 12, tied, down 9, up 6 etc., etc., until Isaiah Thomas hits a 3 to put the Celtics up for good. There is no good reason for this not to happen, and unlike other commissioners, Adam Silver listens to his leagues fans. The sooner this happens, the better.

 

BREAKING NEWS: CARSON PALMER COMING BACK TO SUCK NEXT YEAR

The title may be a little harsh. Palmer hasn't exactly sucked during his time with the Cardinals. But the news that he is coming back for next season makes me happy. There is nothing better than watching a Carson Palmer late game meltdown. The joy I experience while he walks off the field looking up at the replay of his third 4th quarter interception is unmatched. To know that I will be able to witness that kind of excitement again for a full season* is the kind of thing that keeps me waking up in the morning.

*Or until his Week 3 knee injury.