What the Fuck Smells in My Fridge?

I opened my fridge today and got nailed in the face with a horrible stench. It was like Shawn Michaels was waiting inside and when I opened the door, BAM! Shit sandwich superkick to the face. After looking at the contents of the fridge, I have narrowed down the potential culprits. I will list the odds for each food item and then smell each one, and figure out just what exactly is producing that foul smell.

 Deli Meats- A staple of my refrigerator is expired deli meats. Each week, my brother and I buy up to almost 3 lbs of various meats from the local grocer. The only one that ever gets eaten fully is the cheese, thanks to my late night habit of dousing slices in sriracha and stuffing my fat drunk face with them. That being said, this smell is a new one and I have had some form of expired deli meat in my fridge for years now. 100-1

Shredded Cheese-Typically any cheese that finds its way into my house is consumed by me within two days time. However, shredded cheese is the exception to the rule. Let me ask you, have you ever tried to put sriracha on shredded cheese? Yea, don't try either. You will just end up on the floor in the corner licking your fingers wondering where everything went wrong. As for the whether or not its the cause of the smell, you can see in the top left of the package, the cheese has almost solidified. While not a good sign that you can eat the cheese, I do not think this factors into its smell. 99-1

Kale something or other-My brother must've bought this. Only explanation for it being in my fridge because I think kale is the devils plaything and should not be eaten by anybody. Can only imagine how horrible a honey almond kale salad tastes. But it hasn't expired yet so while this will most definitely be the cause of a future smell in the refrigerator, I am betting that the current smell is something else. 75-1

Salsa- My girlfriend brought this over for the Pats/Steelers game. In October. We went mexican that day with fajitas and nachos. I had diarrhea for a week. And that was when this salsa was fresh. God only knows what it would do to my intestinal tract right now. I've been starting at this motherfucker for over 3 months. Could very well be the source of my disgust. 10-1

Greek Yogurt-Another leftover product from Dia de los Mexicanos, this has got to be considered the leader in the clubhouse. Its got all the signs of a bad smelling item. Past its date of expiration? Check. Semi open container? Check. Discolored plastic around the rim that is most likely a sign of tons of mold? Check. I haven't smelt any of these items yet but will be absolutely shocked if this does not smell like the rotting hell that is my refrigerator right now. 2-1






Just smelt the Greek yogurt first, and yup, its the culprit. Holy fucking shit balls. Id show you a picture of what it looks like inside the container, but I crave your acceptance and don't want to ruin a good thing.